Oh you were miles away from home; restless nights I’ve spent waiting by the phone. I turned the player up, to drown the doleful memory of your alleviating tone. Beyond this four foreboding walls, lays a very different kind of view. I know my selfishness will keep me safe and my expectations few. I fully understand my haven’s got its victims too, but each casualty has his company, and they breathe life into each other. They’re questioning but there’re no more answers. They live as one and they die together. Every figure perished by your arid hands, and they told me this is not utopia. I made the same mistakes again while I watched all the others fade away. All the colours, they turn to grey and I know that I’m lost without you. It feels like winter is dwelling in me. I’m cold, I’m bitter; I’m withered and empty. My eyes clamped shut, my hands are numb. When it comes to love, it just never lasts. Your arms don’t ever deserve to hold me. There is nothing here that’s still left for me. No more indication that will keep me at ease. I’m devastated and that is all I’ll ever need to be. I still shiver from every bit of this shame. Pardon me as I work on my makeshift grave to hide away from you and all I cannot face, I will shoulder this blame. My head lies nicely in the palm of my hands. My heart is shattered but there’re no tears to spare. What welcomes me home is a bed of bones. Oh dear lord I’ve never felt so alone. I watched all the colours fade to grey. My eyelids fluttered close but my fists stay clenched and porcelain. With every heartbeat, I can feel the end just inching closer. Oh well I’ll stay asleep. Will I stay asleep? But even so, nothing would ever change. Should I stay asleep? Will I stay asleep? But even so, nothing would change when I awake.
Track Name: Jackals
It was never that easy to drag my weary feet along this frigid gravel path. It was never too hard for you to comprehend that this road I walk is tough. I never saw the effort come with sincerity. Your mouth’s kept open but these words, they lay far from your reach. I know your conscience haunts you every fucking night. With a gnawing curvature, it sinks into your skin like talons. I remember that soulful glance, your dejected eyes stared daggers into mine. That icy smile was the last gleam of life that laid upon my clouded sight. Your nimble hands told stories that never came to light. You’re defeated and there is nothing I can do to make it right. So pin the blame on me, I am the bearer of desperation. So pin the blame on me, I am the bringer of all this sadness. So pin the blame on me, I am the bearer of this lifetime curse. So pin the blame on me, I’ll welcome death with complete willingness. I’ll damn myself with every wound dealt on your innocent frame. This canvas has been adorned with my feculent name. I’ve left a horrible taint on this elegant landscape. Oh no what have I done?
Oh no what have I fucking done? Oh please, don’t forgive me. Forgiveness was what you’re appreciated for but I don’t; no I don’t deserve this kindness. Your words of comfort dug graves, where our bodies should’ve been; but I’m a wreck, disastrous and unimaginable to be. Take a good look and tell me it’s a vulture circling my head at every turn. With a noose around my neck, it’s like a constant reminder of what I will never have. Bruised knees and elbows sore, my heart is plagued with so much anguish. I should’ve known that we’ve gone too far. And now we’re jackals with hideous scars, sending souls back to the land of the dead. Setting souls back to the land of the dead. I should be thankful that I tumbled at your feet, only to crumble the same way. I should be thankful that I tumbled at your feet, only to crumble the same way again.